| Ada's first self-help manual |
[Apr. 2nd, 2010|08:25 pm]
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| | satirical | ] | How to Marry a Princess by Ada Trouble Norton
Chapter 1
How to Marry a Princess.
First, act like you're so happy.
Second, to make sure she likes you, fall down. if she laughs, say, "Yes, that IS funny." If she doesn't, well, if she helps you, then say, "You are so nice." Then give her a flower. Then kiss her. Then hug her. Then pick her up and bow her down like a prince did. Then she will like you. Act like you're gonna save her whenever she doesn't feel safe.
Before the person tells the story about the marriage thing, pick her up and wait until the person tells the story. After that, go into your room and act like you're getting ready for a party. The end.
Chapter 2
How to Make the Princess Happy.
First, act like she's a goddess. Second, while you're acting like she's a goddess, don't forget to feed her. Also, do everything for the princess except fold the towels. Princesses are very good at folding towels. And let her take care of the garden too. Princesses like gardens.
Chapter 3
How to Rescue a Princess
First, cover yourself in armor because you don't know what kind of weapon the thing that caught your princess might have, and , don't forget to bring a sword and shields, and don't forget to bring a horse and an extra one for the princess to ride on. And if you can't get any horses, exercise lots so you can pick up the princess.
First kill the beast before rescuing the princess. Sneaking in doesn't always work. The princess will be so happy once you rescue her. Do not make her disappointed. Carry the princess all the way back to the house. Don't forget, don't drop her and not say sorry. That's what princesses mainly don't like.
Chapter 4.
How to Make a Princess happy.
First, buy her some pets. Ask her which kind of pet before buying her some pets. Second, decorate her room better than yours. Third, give her lots of flowers that smell good. And give the ugly ones to yourself.
Even if one looks pretty but smells bad, do not put it in her room. Also, don't forget to give her a dress every day.
Chapter 5
How to not Embarrass a Princess
First, do not drop her and laugh. Second, do not laugh when she is hurt. Third, well, basically, just don't annoy her.
Chapter 6
How to Clean up a Princess's Room
First, act like you're holding the shiny things like you're holding a trophy and bowing down to give the trophy to the person who won it. Then put all the flowers and stuff, use them like you're marrying a princess that minute. Third well basically clean up her room and don't forget, don't do it like a kid.
The End. |
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| Ada's first cypher |
[Feb. 5th, 2010|10:48 am]
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This morning Ada showed me her first self made alphabet. She explained later that most of the letters incorporated the original letter, but not all.
Mark that down- first cypher at 6, going on 7.
I am out of my mind with pride. |
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| A day that will live in famy forever |
[Sep. 4th, 2009|08:48 pm]
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Daddy Gilbert is the official lucky parent. After nearly loosing the tooth in a burrito (ah child of California) she went home and Gilbert removed it with a napkin.
I am told she plans to show it off to her class tomorrow before selling it in the under pillow marketplace to one T. Fairy, who has expressed a commercial interest. |
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| Recursed! |
[Jun. 17th, 2009|09:48 am]
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Ada's six! {and 5...4...3...2...1...born.} |
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| explaining the presidential elections to ada |
[Sep. 26th, 2008|02:34 pm]
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Daddy: So you know how some countries have Kings and Queens?
Ada: Instead of Presidents, you mean?
Daddy: Well... yes, yes. In countries that have presidents, every few years everyone gets to decide who will be president next. You write an x on a piece of paper next to the name of the person you want, and put it in a box. And then they count the "x"s and whoever gets the most, gets to be president.
Ada: What do they do?
Daddy: Presidents? Well, that's a good question. You see...
Ada: I bet they have to sing and dance lots, so that people will choose them!
[Does Presidential Dance]
Daddy: Well, kind of. Mostly it's talking.
Ada: And the best talker wins?
Daddy: And the best talker wins. |
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| A gentle reminder that 1040-ES is due this coming Monday |
[Sep. 8th, 2008|06:33 pm]
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Remember that game that you played in kindergarten and first grade, where you couldn't walk on the lines in the sidewalk?
Step on a crack, you break your mother's back Step on a line, you break your mother's spine
Man, the rules for that game have really changed:
RULES FOR WALKING ON THE SIDEWALK A Game By Ada Norton
- Step on the squares.
- Don't step on the lines.
- If the line is not a complete line, you can step on it.
- You can step on the round gas meters.
- You can step on the square water and cable boxes.
- You can step on cracks on the squares.
- You can step on the curbs, but not the lines on the curbs.
- If you step on the lines 71 times, then you can't step on squares anymore, and you have to step on the lines.
- If you go to sleep when you have 6 lines, you will have 0 when you wake up.
- If you go to sleep when you have 10 lines, you will have 6 when you wake up.
- If you go to sleep when you have 20 lines, you will have 13 when you wake up.
- If you step on lines 100 times, you have the ability to step on lines and on leaves. But not squares.
- You have the ability to step on squares if you step on lines 100 times. But only occasionally leaves, because they make you slip.
- If you're not supposed to step on the squares, and you step on the squares 71 times, then you have to walk in the street.
(And then, we decided to translate it en Español:)
Recuerde que usted juego que se reproduce en kindergarten y primer grado, donde no podía caminar en las líneas en la acera?
Paso a una grieta, romper su madre la espalda Paso en una línea, te rompes una columna vertebral de la madre
Hombre, las reglas de juego que realmente han cambiado:
Normas para caminar por la acera Un juego de Ada Norton
- Paso a las plazas.
- No paso por las líneas.
- Si la línea no es una línea completa, puede sobre ella.
- Puede paso a la ronda de gas.
- Puede paso en la plaza del agua y de cable.
- Puede paso a grietas en las plazas.
- Puede paso a la represión, pero no las líneas en los bordillos.
- Si paso en las líneas 71 veces, entonces puede no paso a más plazas, y usted tiene que paso en las líneas.
- Si usted va a dormir cuando tiene 6 líneas, tendrá 0 cuando usted se despierta.
- Si usted va a dormir cuando se tiene 10 líneas, tendrá 6 al levantarse.
- Si usted va a dormir cuando se tiene 20 líneas, tendrá 13 cuando se despierte.
- Si paso a las líneas de 100 veces, usted tiene la capacidad de paso en las líneas y en las hojas. Pero no cuadrados.
- Usted tiene la capacidad de paso por los cuadros si paso en las líneas 100 veces. Pero sólo de vez en cuando las hojas, porque te hacen resbalar.
- Si no está supuesta a paso en las plazas, y que paso en las plazas 71 veces, entonces usted tiene que caminar en la calle.
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| Jel |
[Aug. 24th, 2008|08:05 pm]
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Ada: We found it when it was dead. It was a jellyfish. We threw it back into the ocean. Jel the jellyfish was named posthumously by Ada Norton, and found by Quinn Norton.
Quinn: We poked it with a stick. |
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| "Okay, print it, and send this out to the whole world" |
[Aug. 12th, 2008|07:22 pm]
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When I am a grown-up, I'm going to do these things, and this is all the stuff I need, and these are the travellers I need. Only one Ava though. I don't need a bunch of Avas.
A Journey to Outer Space ========================
We will need: A sword. Binoculars. A telescope.
A horse. I need five donkeys, Seven dogs, Two hawks, Two eagles, A flashlight, and three guns - one gun for Ava, one gun for Claire and one gun for me. Some rope. A computer. A tent.
Lots of clothes, lots of buttons, three sunhats (one for Claire, one for Ava, one for me). A sleeping bag. A compass.
Three of Quinn's knives.
A boat, a helicopter, a submarine, a carriage, and a table and a rocketship that you can break up, and they turn into a little ball that you can carry on your back.
A lot of Cheerios and a whole big thing of milk.
Bread, and chocolate milk. A big pack of noodles.
Also, I need a cup, and a knife and fork and spoon and three plates, and some firewood.
Ada, Ava, and Claire get to choose which places they want to go:
The forest, a jungle, the North Pole, underwater, outer space, at the beach, a swamp, a flower meadow, the biggest hill in the world, the tallest tree in the forest, a desert, midnight in the forest, or in a volcano. |
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| Ada's directorial debut |
[Jul. 21st, 2008|11:41 am]
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May I present Ada Norton's Burrito, please don't go, a comedic look at the struggle for resources between man and animal, and what happens when those resources run out on you.
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